Thursday, July 17, 2014

Mask of reality

Eurythmics: Here comes the rain again remix


It was in a break between the heavy rains this morning, there wasn’t much time.  I grabbed the leashes, I took my dogs for a walk.  At 5:30 a.m. if you want to know the exact time.  In that space, the diffusion of the misty air made the earth appear if it was under repair.  As if somewhere in the night reality struggled to repair itself.  My dogs however were not focusing on such thoughts.  As testified by the pull of the leash they longed for relief, and discover the brave new world. 

The atmosphere was heavy as I approached the single arc light.  One large overhead halogen, that was what was used to light a nearby dog walking area.  A central green pole holing a container of 100% biodegradable… poop bags.  Though right under the container is a sign warning  of a fine if pets are not picked up after, one still has to watch their footing.

I had just entered this set apart sanctum when my eyes caught something.  On the ground a shadow moved.  My dogs immediately leapt to discover the unknown.  Though frustrated that the dogs were distracted from the business at hand while I was getting wetter, I simply pulled tight leashes, holding them back.  Probably nothing more than a field mouse I thought.  Driven from the shelter of a break of nearby thin and straining trees along a dirty stream, it had sought out safety.  That’s onl y logical.  That’s only the struggle for life.  I, like my dogs however, wanted to try to figure out what it truly was.  So I tried to move closer.  Slowly, and always making sure the dogs were controlled.  As I passed near it, it however remained merely a morpious shape distorted by the fractured haze that encompassed the ground.  Quietly it moved from the fraction of light towards the darkness, a sliver of shadow that longed to meld back into its larger form.  It made sense.  So many things found comfort in the dark.  A refuge erected where it could once again seek comfort in the void.  I could understand.  Sometimes, for lack of a better word, reality is harsh.  It is so much more enjoyable to linger in the comfort of the half-light. 

As I would be gone most of the day, I continued to walk my dogs.  Naomi, the older half-lab, began to act very curious as we approached a corner in the buildings.  The tension on the leash was building.  Her paws began to dig into the ground tugging urgently for her to encounter what was hidden just behind the wall.  I was about to should “Heel” and pull back on the leash she had already turned the corner and had begun to excitedly bark and  pull desperately at the leash.  At what?  I am not certain.  It could have been a possum, it could have been a cat.  All I caught was the briefest glimpse of dirty white gray and mottled tan fur before it crashed into the darkness provided by bushes.  A pulling back of the leash, and the dogs, though controlled, continued to furiously sniff at the ground.  Back and forth a continual haunting searching for any clues as to what may be hiding in the darkness before the mask of reality is securely fashioned and fixed by the light of day.

And yet…

As always…

Whenever it rains like this, I always think of her.

And I know, that however distant, however far, however close, she…

Thinks of me. 

In those fleeting moments before the mask of reality is securely fashioned.

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