Wednesday, July 10, 2013

A Beautiful Fiction





A beautiful fiction: a gossamer cloak.  This is the way it was.  This is the way he supposed it had to be.  Liars lie to others, but visionaries only lie to themselves.

Truth—a desperate demand. But a point on which both sides agreed—a seeming simple request.  It was the only way to pierce the sublimating suffocating gauze known as reality.  Fiction would be the tool that would enable glimpses of the truth.  In desperation, elegant lenses were hastily crafted.  Through these distorted shades the viewer gained the ability to catch glimpses of the glory of the truth without being consumed.  A slight veneer as subtle as it was soft.  A diffuse lace really, a simple block strong enough to hold back the savage dogs of reality.   Lumbering beasts whose gnashing teeth and wailing howls filled with wrath were abated at the gate.  Even if it was only for a moment, in the darkness one is desperate to see any light, regardless of how fleeting.  All one had to do, was suspend disbelief.

Liars lie to others, visionaries only lie to themselves.

But it was a necessary fiction.  The truth was too powerful.  The undertow was constant.  Through the lenses of fiction, desperate memories of the bitter were made sweet.  Just as in the greatest of epics, piecemeal fiction patched up glaring discrepancies.  Myths created to espouse the ideal, to cling to.  fiction became the ramshackle framework which surrounded the truth.  He still hasn’t figured out if it acted to reinforce, or to contain its power.  Regradless, under the protection of diffusion, momentary lapses forgiven while discrepancies disbelieved.  Just as parched soil eagerly accepts the rain, desperate hearts soaked in fiction to regain that thought lost.  Though it never really was: at least not for him.

What was the price of disbelief?  Hearts were made whole.  Bodies strong.  Beauty remembered and made eternal as it always was and always will be.  The gentle breath of her “Hello,” created a rampant bonfire intense in its clarity from a patch of embers that had long smoldered. 

Liars lie to others, but visionaries only lie to themselves.

Why would one do it?  To return to Eden, to submerge in healing waters to be made whole,  to embrace a haunting truth that hung like a shadow  The cloister created of the two became their world.   In the refuge from the chaos it was only the one made from the he and the she.  And it was beautiful.

Reality however,  has a way to distract.  Once eyes are look to the ground one returns to it.   Like the lost boys in Peter Pan, you can soar with eagles… unless you doubt your ability to fly.  Once this is doubted, it is forever lost.  So began her slow descent.  While Peter, the eternal puck, desperately clung to Wendy’s wrist… she continued her downward  trek.  She no longer wanted to fly, or at least not with Peter.  So he became the Pan, forever fighting off Hook for the sake of a Wendy who had long since left neverland.  Sad Peter or sad Wendy?  So difficult to tell when one is lost in the crux of truth and fiction. 

Liars lie to others, but visionaries only lie to themselves.

So how does the tale end if such tales ever do?  In our last conversation, her eyes had dulled.  Forever fearing confrontation or fact of being caught, she remained in reserve.  I didn’t know how to respond.  Was she more mournful over that which she had lost or that which she had gained?  It matters little.  At least that is what I tell myself.  Little more than a touch of fiction, as long as I realize its fiction.

Flying solo had given him  a perspective to see clearer.  The patchwork of fiction that had allowed the union had slowly dissolved.  It had not melted into t ramshackle tower waiting for the truth to tumble down in a calamitous crush; it’s stasis had allowed the truth time to heal.  Like a broken limb, casts had been removed. In exposing his wounds to the air they had healed.  He knew she longed to fly, and flew still, just not with him.  A truth that is sad.  But in its revelation, it is beautiful.  By being made real, by letting go of Wendy’s wrist, she is made real and all the more beautiful.

Truth has done nothing to diminish the beauty of reflections.  Although the rippled image in the pond is little more than a rippled image in a pond, it is something still cherished.  The ashen embers have returned to grey, waiting to burst forth but until then it must be remembered…

Liars lie to others, but visionaries only lie to themselves.        

 

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